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I caught the last half hour of a BBC documentary on the painter Lucian Freud, grandson to Sigmund. Freud is known for his expressive portraits, built up with thick layers of paint almost always of naked people you don't want to see naked. This was shown on the Canadian station TVO so they didn't pixel out the "naughty bits" in the paintings or censor the interviewees as they would have done on an American station.

It got me thinking about how schizo we are about sex in this country. Sex is used to sell everything including not sex as in the Jonas brothers promise rings which gets people thinking about sex which is the whole point. Scantily clad women are used to market just about everything but if it has artistic merit it's pixelled out on the TV. Little girls are tarted up for these insane beauty pageants of small children but if you photo your toddler playing in the bath and have it developed at CVS you a liable to be charged with "kiddie porn" and have the state apparatus sent after you. At the beach you can be practically naked, but whip out a boob to feed your baby and people have a fit.

I've come to the conclusion that sexual images in public are only allowed as long as money can be made from them. If a work of art has nudity in it, censor it. If a breast is used not as advertising but for the purpose for which it is designed (okay, evolved) then ban it. If sex is shown for artistic or natural purposes this takes away from the power it has as an advertising tool, so it is no allowed.

Another reason why the US of A is NOT the greatest country on earth. Of course I don't think there is one, but if there were, it wouldn't be us.

I'm thrilled to write "President Obama." I watched the inauguration on a TV at work. Maybe a dozen people wandered into a closed cafeteria to watch the history. I felt like jumping up and cheering. My co-workers reaction was muted. I work with a LOT of "ditto-heads" (read RE-tards) who only believe what Rush or Fox Noise tells them.

Speaking of stupid people, I actually work with engineers, yes men and women with degrees in science who will argue, sometimes with obscene language, that the Earth is 6,000 years old because the Bible says so. Soooo, you believed all the science about thermal dynamics, and physics and quadratic equations but 200 years worth that across multiple disciplines tells us the Earth is ancient, nope, that's just A) Darwinian lies, B) Deceptions of Say-tan, or C) Plots of Godless Liberals in their quest to rid the world of Je-HEE-zus and murder babies, convert our children to homosexuality, etc.

Right.

I also work with geniuses who deny there is ANY climate change at all, let alone Global Warming, because Rush or Fox told them so, or (drumroll) it snowed outside. Duh, we're in Michigan, of course it snowed! It's called Winter!
They will tell you first, the "people are stupid" Okay, so far, look at the last eight years. And then the punch line is that people are stupid for believing in Global Warming. The best, best part is that they have done NO research whatsoever. No scientific reading, no listening to interviews with climatologists, not even reading National Geographic. But they KNOW it's all bunk.

I really don't care what you believe, (okay, actually I do) but for God's sake, do your homework!!!! At least KNOW what you believe in and why.

I have regular (pointless) debates with Christians who haven't read as much of the Bible as I have. I quote passages from books they have not read. But they believe it! It's the literal word of God! Have you read it all, NO!
Wow.

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My 85 year old mother is in the hospital with possibly a stroke, possibly a seizure. I'm more afraid of old age than ever.

Reason to be hopeful.

After a cabal of Southern Republicans killed the auto bailout by making demands they knew would never be met, it looks like Prez Bush is going to step in and make the monies available. Wow. Even Dick Cheney knew that the big three cannot be allowed to fail. He said if that were to happen, the Republicans would be known as the Party of Hoover forever.

Quick history lesson: Herber Hoover, president during the start of the Great Depression did nothing to help and when he finally did step in, he made it worse.

I'm guessing that Bush wondered if he wants his legacy - in tatters - to include channeling the ghost of Hoover and doing nothing while the whole of Michigan goes down a rat hole. I'm guessing he thought maybe not. Whatever his reason, he at long last did something with which I can agree. It might the only thing, but still.

The burning question is just how stupid, how unbelievably fucking stupid are Republican senators who want, yes want the big three to go under. Forget unthinkingly cruel, mean spirited etc., just what are they using for brains? Three million direct jobs with the auto industry. Millions more in support industries, local businesses, etc. It would push the recession into full on depression, and they have to know this. And they want this? Or are they really that short sighted and mind numbingly stupid. After this it will be very hard to vote for a Republican again. For eight years they have accused anyone who disagreed with the regime as treasonous. Yet they have done nothing but work against everything this country stood for. And now they want to sink the domestic auto industry because foreign car companies have plants in their states. How anti-American can you be?

I wrote Senator Shelby (R-Alabama) a nasty gram where I called him a traitor (working in favor of car companies owned by a foreign power against American interests) and invoked the Civil War asking what should one really expect of a state with a history of disloyal, anti American back stabbing. I have no hope of changing his pea brain with logic and reason, so I just went for a cheap shot. What the hell - it was fun. The South has been fighting the Civil War for over 150 years anyway, so why not?

At Chrysler, the once bustling city of the Auburn Hills Tech Center is a ghost town. Between buyouts, retirements and contractor layoffs, some 5,000 people have left the company. One of the cafeterias has shut down as have one of the coffee bars. (Yes, we have coffee bars. You can get also get a haircut, your shoes shined, film developed, dry cleaning done, shop for all sorts of stuff and now there is a walk in clinic and pharmacy. Sure they'll all great perks, but they wouldn't be there is all these vendors weren't making money.)
Those of us left are wondering if/when our turn will come. People have packed up a lot of personal belongings so that if the axe falls, they aren't saddled with multiple boxes and bags. When I was laid off earlier in the year I had already taken lots of stuff home. When I was called back I brought my calender and my coffee mug. That's it. Others are seeing that this was the smart thing to do.

So as Christmas approaches and hopefully federal loans, we are cautiously hopeful. I have no intention of taking any buyout - I like my job way too much and I've been accruing retirement for years and I will cling to the hope that I may actually see some of it.

Waiting for that other shoe to drop...

I'm taking a break from my usual bile spewing venom to reflect on the holiday. I know, it's Saturday, two days passed Turkey day but I've been in a Triptophan induced coma since Thursday.

Things I'm actually thankful for.

*I am so proud of this country voting the first non-white man to the presidency. For the first time in at least 8 years I feel hopeful.

*I am way thankful and a little bit gleeful at watching the Republican party implode. In German we call this "Schadenfreude."

*I am thankful to be in the domestic auto industry and STILL have a job although I don't know for how much longer. The "sale" (plundering and strip mining) of Chrysler to GM has fizzled out and that's great news for us.
In the effort to shed 25% of white collar jobs several real bonehead managers have bailed. One had the tag of "nazi" added to her name and the other, one Larry Achram didn't show up for a week and THEN it was announced he was retiring. He had a personal grudge against designers and vowed to get rid of hundreds of them. Even when it was apparent that nothing would get done with that many gone, he refused to back down because then you see, that would mean he was wrong. And in management, at least around here, you can never be wrong. Part of why Detroit has put out SHIT for so many years and refused to change their thinking/business model/product line. Larry had to slink away under cover of darkness because otherwise he wouldn't have made it to the executive parking garage alive. Enjoy your retirement. May you die soon and unworthy relatives inherit your stuff.

*I am thankful that in this economic "slump" (near depression if you're in Michigan) I'm way ahead of the curve and ALREADY lost my house and all my stuff. Between Typhoon Marriage and Hurricane Divorce I had to start from scratch. All the overtime I put in, all those mortgage payments, it's all gone. Compared to now I was lucky to only have to take a small sum to closing to pay someone to take my house. It lost value, but not 50% or more.

*I'm thankful for learning the lessons taught from the above entry that "things" don't really matter when compared to your health and sanity. I have an apartment much smaller than my house and I love it. It's in a great part of town, the utilities are cheap and it's easy to take care of. Perhaps the "new" living will be shrinking from McMansions to a more realistic living space. There's a real sweetness after the bitter pill of losing everything to pick out your own furniture and decorate the way you want to. No compromise couch, no shelves filled with someone else's knickknacks, no bedspread in a color you hate. It's allllll what I want. A great feeling.

*I'm thankful that my former in-laws now see that THEIR relative was the problem and I'm not just some jerk that dumped their sister/daughter. They had to deal with her craziness and it was the proverbial moment of clarity. They asked themselves two questions: 1) who is this loon? 2) how did (me) put up with her for so long?!
One of the more sucky things about divorce is that you are cut off from the in-laws (okay, to some that's a benefit) which stinks if you happened to like them. And I did. In group BS sessions when people complained about their in-laws I had nothing to say. They are all fine, hardworking folks.

*Lastly, I'm thankful that I FINALLY figured out the benefits of regular exercise and working out. At nearly 50 (!) I'm in better condition than when I was 25.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Lousy things for sale:

*Second hand condoms

*Dead bats

*George W. Bush memorabilia

*The Chrysler Corporation

Of course, only one of them will actually be sold and that is Chrysler. To whom? GM? Nissan? Space aliens? The predictions are as dire as they could be. Chop up the corporation and sell the parts. Lay off almost everyone. Close the Tech Center. Basically dig a great big hole and dump a company with almost a century of building American cars.

Great.

Meanwhile, we sit around and wonder how much longer we will have a job. Morale is the worst I have ever seen. Is this it? Are we done? I have skills that apply to designing just about anything, but not around here. FINALLY the crap of the divorce/debts is over and now this. I've met someone I really like and I would not want to have to move out of state. Maybe it's time for another career.

I am basting in a stew of my anger. These Evil Fucktard Republicans got their way with their cries for deregulation and now it's $800 Billion (to start) to fix it. Meanwhile the Corporate cocksuckers all got bonuses while they begged for the money to bail out THEIR problem. Unbelievable.

This started with Reagan's aw-shucks I'm just like you except I'll give the store away to the rich bullshit and the fruition is that we are on the edge of the next Great Depression. "W" doesn't have enough brains for a wet fart let alone the way out of this mess. And now the Republicans insult our intelligence further by selecting a barbie doll for a vice president! If I were a Republican (I don't have enough money and I don't hate gays, blacks, women or non-Christians) I would be offended. How stupid do they think the people are? I'll tell you: pretty fucking stupid.

For the last eight years the Republicans have peddled their poison to the public and like the slack jawed retards they are, they bought it. Only are Americans so fucking dumb that they would bend over for as ass fucking and then vote in their ass rapists.

The Democrats aren't off the hook either. Not by a long shot. They stood by and did nothing, nada, zilch. Just when they could possibly offer a real alternative to the Christian Moronocracy, they did nothing. At the primary debates the journalist had the gall to ask what the candidates favorite Bible verse was. Huh?! What does that have to with anything?! Just once I would like to see some candidate tell them to stick their religion in their ass. Or at the very least tell them it doesn't matter. Or maybe quote something from the Satanic Bible and see if they can tell the difference. Probably not.

Okay - different subject.

At one of Detroit's automakers, (hint: there used to be a lot of Germans goose stepping around) the designers (unionized) are hated and loathed by management. There long term goal is their extinction. They do nothing to mask their hatred. No one can figure out why. Sure there are some (ok, a lot) of bad apples, but some of them actually do a good job and take pride in their work. A piece of the puzzle today. It seems that the management idiots resent the high salary the designers make. The designers don't have the degrees that the corporate cock climbers have, so it's an affront to their tassled loafers and they have made it a personal vendetta to get rid of them all. What assholes. During the recent layoff I was hoping someone would go postal. I can't think of a bunch that deserves it more.

I finally got over my fear of flying and took a plane to NYC to see some Shakespeare. Star Trek NG's Patrick Stewart starred in Macbeth, updated to 1930's Stalinism. The cast were dressed like Commissars and carried AK-47s. Without a doubt the best of the Bard I've ever seen.

In four days I ran my legs off. I saw Central Park, Times Square, wandered thru bookstores in Greenwich Village, and visited the WTC site. I went to Caroline's Comedy Club and and off Broadway play (Almost an Evening) written by the Coen brothers. I got a Metro card and rode the subways everywhere. I felt really safe.

I subsisted on ice tea, power bars and "street water" hotdogs. The best meal I had was in a Pakistani hole in the wall that gives partitional apertures a bad name. It was recommended by a bookstore next door otherwise I wouldn't have touched the place with a ten foot pole. When I asked if I could eat there (raining outside) the owner patted some rickety stools and said "Oh yes! You can eat here!" He wagged a finger at me, "You cannot sleep here, but you can eat here!" It was awesome.

I hadn't flown in ten years and the goddam airlines (Amerikan) tagged me for extra security which means that uniformed perverts get you fell you up. What, I don't fly in ten years so that's makes me a terrorist?! I wrote them a nasty letter so now I'll probably get on the cavity search preferred list. Even though I was stuck in the dreaded middle seat, at least my seatmates weren't morbidly obese or had religious injunctions against hygiene. Mostly, they slept.

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And now for the big news. I am finally, fully, 100% divorced! After four years of an undead existence known as legal separation, my obligations to keep the ex's health care alive are finished, and I'm free!!!! Unlike too many men I know, I WILL NOT go out and marry the first psycho bee-yatch I can find.

So, a trip to get over my fear of flying, finalize the divorce, and moving this weekend. I fell like the Emperor from Star Wars rubbing his hands in delight, "Everything has transpired by my design!" The ex is about to go completely broke. She HAD a job for two weeks. On day two, she told them she immediately caught carpel tunnel syndrome. That's okay, she once told me she caught Gulf War Syndrome from a war vet neighbor who doesn't have it either. Soooo they fired her. Deliberately, my new apartment is on the 2nd floor with a communal entrance where you have to be buzzed in. That way, she can't tap on the windows or park herself on my door step begging for money.

It's all good in the hood.

I'm pretty well ensconced into the new department and routine. The work is good, all on the new design software, CATIA V5. Of the group of new designers in the department I have the most training with that and other office software. So the saying is about the one eyed man being king in the valley of the blind.

We found out the whole purpose of the layoff, aside to break the union, was to get rid of some bad apples. And what happened? They're back. They had enough seniority to bump back, and they are once again wandering the halls, doing what they do best which is nothing. Way to go Chrysler! You sure showed them! Oh, and thanks for fucking with our lives in the meanwhile. Idiots.

We also heard we will make trucks for Nissan (because they can't) and they will make small cars for us (because we can't.) Wow. So after that, we will be able to park in the restricted parking areas, cars from AMC, Renault, Mercedes, Nissan, and oh, maybe some Dodges and Plymouths.

I'm finally going to get over my fear of flying and get on an airplane next month. I haven't flown in ten years - I hate it. But, I want to do more traveling and I REALLY want to see a show in NYC. The train trip would be 15 hours from Toledo! Plus 2 hours to drive to Toledo. No thanks. I haven't been to NYC in a long time so I'm pretty geeked. This is a solo trip so I'll have a long weekend to spend exploring the Big Apple.

The other big thing was I bought new furniture. I have never spent so much and not driven it away. Yikes! I needed it however.

The first week back has been surprisingly tolerable if not pleasant. I ended up in a different department, but doing pretty much what I was doing which I liked. This department is seemingly NOT run according to the Darth Vader school of management.

I found out that it's just not the laid off employees who have had epiphanies. Those who were left experienced some sort of shell shock. They envied us as we were at least home and not spending the day in a toxic atmosphere.

They have also largely resolved to not buy company vehicles for a while, perhaps forever.

Bob Nardelli, are you listening? What you have done is damage to morale and productivity that will never be undone. You have also lost hundreds of customers. Did you get that? Hundreds of formerly loyal employees who happily bought/leased new vehicles on a regular basis have sworn to buy your competition. Formerly conscientious employees no longer care, will no longer go that extra mile. The comment most heard since I've been back is "Fuck this place."

To quote Dr. Phil, "How's that workin' out for ya?"

My "sabbatical" is at an end. I got a call today to come back to work on Monday.
Apparently, after many long meetings, the company decided they would honor the contract after all. They agreed to reduce to layoff from 212 to 62 and are calling people back on a seniority basis.

Hmmm. Cerberus and Bob Nardelli don't like to back down. I can picture Emperor Palpatine saying, "All in good time. Patience." and chuckling maniacally. I'm pretty certain we'll see this issue again. I wonder how much Cerberus will have to pay Nardelli to leave (like Home Depot did) after he completely fucks the place up for all eternity.

I think I spent my time off well. I decided (with difficulty) not to worry about something I can't control. I got unemployment and sub pay so money wasn't a problem. I got a ton of exercise and adjusted my workout. I went skiing a couple times a week (cross country) and did a lot of reading. I joined the "Y" and I will probably stay there instead of going back to gym at work. I think my new goal is to spend as little time at the complex as possible.

I also learned that I took my job/situation far too seriously and put way too much stock/faith in my position. It's just a job. Especially in post-millennial kapitalism where the workforce is disposable, no one should put too much emotional energy into their job.

I worked way too hard to be uber professional in a land of mediocrity. No more. Do my time, and go home.

And I'm still planning on NOT buying any of their vehicles. I looked in Consumer's Reports for recommended used vehicles and very few domestic brands showed up. No Chryslers at all, one Ford and a couple GM. Sad.

If they've lost me as a caring employee, they've also lost me as a customer.